The man of too many friends [chosen indiscriminately] will be broken in pieces and come to ruin, But there is a [true, loving] friend who [is reliable and] sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24 AMP
I recently had brief chat with an old friend that really helped me to see how much the Lord cares about us and our relationships with one another. What she didn’t know was that she was an answer to a prayer that I had prayed just the day before we spoke. As I sat on my porch talking with God, I poured my heart out to him about some things concerning my own personal connections, friendships and relationships. Needless to say the Holy Spirit led my friend to reach out concerning the very thing that I had been praying about! God cares about what we care about! That is one of the things that I really love about our father. I really believe that God cared so much about my friendships that he stripped me of those who weren’t good for me just to replace them with people who are. He completely removed my old inner circle and I am so grateful for the transition because I know that my new inner circle will be much better. I believe that the Lord wants these types of connections for all of his children, so let’s chat about Divine Connections.
One of the best ways to determine what something is, is to determine what it isn’t. We know what a good friendship looks like because we have all had some bad ones. Just for a moment let’s look at some simple signs of a bad friendship then we will look at some signs of a good one.
- You don’t value each other.
- You can’t get along.
- Being taken advantage of.
- You don’t help each grow or progress.
- They never celebrate you.
- You never show up for one another in the good or bad times.
- They discourage or demean you.
- They are a negative influence.
- Jealousy and envy between you.
- Pretentious behavior and mindset.
- They enjoy mockery, gossip and slander.
- They are depressing and deplete your energy.
- They are in constant competition with you and those around them.
- They forget you, never remembering what matters to you! (birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, holidays, when they are needed they do not know it because they are never there!). These kinds of people literally never think to think of you. Time and days and dates go by and they never seem to care.
The list goes on and on but those are some common signs that are usually pretty recognizable. Anyone that has had to deal with these types of relationships knows how horrible it can be. Friendships with people who have these signs can be extremely difficult to handle and can make life downright miserable if we aren’t strong enough to let them go. So what do good friendships look like?
- You really support each other.
- You have fun together.
- You care about what the other cares about.
- No competition between you.
- You encourage one another.
- You tell each other the truth in love.
- You comfort one another but you don’t enable each other in negative ways.
- They speak life into you and you into them.
- Help goes both ways.
- You spend time doing what you both enjoy doing.
- You have legit chemistry.
- You don’t have to hide yourselves, totally able to be who you are with them.
- You can correct one another without straining your friendship.
- You can actually talk to them and they listen.
- You show up when they need you the most, not all talk!
- They make your life better, you make theirs brighter.
- When you have a conflict, you both work it out together.
- No backbiting, no lies, no drama!
These are some super simple distinctions between good and bad relationships. We have probably experienced most of both of these lists. Although it is not always comfortable, there does come a time when we have to reevaluate our connections and determine if our friendships are taking us forward or backward. How do you see that 20 year old friendship today? Is it still a great relationship or are you just holding on to nostalgia? How about that new co-worker that keeps inviting you to hang out but they just aren’t your usual friendship “type” so you keep saying no. The truth is, we evolve. Over time we change therefore our needs change. Who you were at the age of 13 is certainly not you are at age 31. You may have the same friends since you were 13, but it doesn’t mean you don’t need some new ones at 31. Infact 31 year old you probably needs some very different connections with your friends than your 13 year old self needed. I am finding that God has already mapped out everything for us, so he knows what people we need in our lives. If we let him, he will connect us with some of the best friendships that we could have ever imagined giving to ourselves. How do we know this? Well it’s simple, because he’s God! He always knows everything that we need, including people! So what does the bible have to say about friendship?
We shouldn’t be surprised to find that God wants us to have unity with others. One of the first things he said about man was that it was not good for him to be alone, so he made Eve as a companion for Adam. Let’s look at scripture and see what instruction we’ve been given on selecting good friends.
Good people are careful about choosing their friends, but evil people always choose the wrong ones.
Proverbs 12:26 ERV
Be friends with those who are wise, and you will become wise. Choose fools to be your friends, and you will have trouble.
Proverbs 13:20 ERV
Don’t be fooled: “Bad friends will ruin good habits.”
1 Corinthians 15:33 ERV
For the despairing man there should be kindness from his friend; So that he does not abandon (turn away from) the fear of the Almighty.
Job 6:14 AMP
Wow just looking at those scriptures shows us the significance of building good friendships. The word tells us evil people choose the wrong friends! Good people are careful in who they choose to be around. And we are to become wiser by choosing wise friends but choosing the wrong friends WILL not only bring us problems but they will corrupt us and bring us to ruin, YIKES! I don’t know about you, but I’ve had enough hardships in my life already. I’m definitely not trying to ruin myself for any person or any reason! Even loving each other through despair keeps us from turning away from the father! Well that is pretty eye opening, let’s read on.
A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
Proverbs 17:17 AMP
If one person falls, the other person can reach out to help. But those who are alone when they fall have no one to help them.
Ecclesiastes 4:10 ERV
An enemy might be able to defeat one person, but two people can stand back-to-back to defend each other. And three people are even stronger. They are like a rope that has three parts wrapped together—it is very hard to break.
Ecclesiastes 4:12 ERV
Don’t forget your own friends or your father’s friends. If you have a problem, go to your neighbor for help. It is better to ask a neighbor who is near than a brother who is far away.
Proverbs 27:10 ERV
As one piece of iron sharpens another, so friends keep each other sharp.
Proverbs 27:17 ERV
Two people are better than one. When two people work together, they get more work done.
Ecclesiastes 4:9 ERV
We can clearly see that a real friend doesn’t run when issues arise, they were born to stick it out and help in times of need. Infact the Bible tells us that we can help each other but if we are alone there is no one there to have our backs! We all need someone looking out behind us, to defend us!
Also if one person is getting a little dull in an area of their lives, the other person is there to help sharpen them in that area. Loving each other at all times, speaking the word of God into each other’s lives, reminding each other of who we are in Christ and the strength that he has given to us is a great example of sharpening one another. If we have others to work together with, we can accomplish more than we could alone. Good friends help to make life’s loads lighter. Now that sounds like an amazing friendship.
There are many more scriptures we can study to see what good Godly connections look like but these are a few that are easy to follow and understand. Here’s a few more just to bring even more light to this topic. Even Jesus himself called his disciples his friends. And just like them, we are his followers and his friends. Jesus is the ultimate best friend. He gave his life for us all!
I no longer call you servants, because servants don’t know what their master is doing. But now I call you friends, because I have told you everything that my Father told me.
John 15:15 ERV
The greatest love people can show is to die for their friends.
John 15:13 ERV
So what is a divine connection? It is simply a friendship or relationship that has been orchestrated by God himself. It is when God selects someone to be in our lives for a specific purpose. This means that the enemy too will try to bring us counterfeit friendships to keep us from walking in the right direction and worst, to ruin us. Remember he comes to kill, steal, and destroy! So it makes sense that he places people in our lives to cause us to stumble and fall. That is why we need discernment and the word of God. We are to use the bible as a personal blueprint for our lives so that we can walk upright and to have all that God has designed for us to have and this includes our friends. So I encourage you to evaluate your friendships today, see which ones line up with scripture and which ones do not. Then select your connections accordingly, you will thank yourself for it later. I pray this post shed some light on what divine connections look like and I pray that you receive it with an open heart. Rest assured the Lord cares about you and your friends. Use the word to your advantage and go make some divine relationships. Until our next chat, be blessed.
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